7 Tips to Help Moms Feel Less Guilty

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385845_2798014030622_1794324218_nWell I am was trying not to post too much on here yet or promote this blog since I am in a bit larger learning curve than I would like to admit with the design and back-end of this WordPress so PLEASE check back often. I will  redesign and our About Us page will be done soon!

I just couldnt help myself. Last night I read a post on Facebook prompting me to write this. It was a mom of a 2 yr. old who is trying to launch a new business and feeling overwhelmed about having to handle the duties of a stay-at-home mom find enough time to be with her son and still get her business going all with limited help from family. Her sense of guilt was getting to her and she was reaching out for encouragement and suggestions. And of course it struck a cord with this SUPER MOM Mompreneur! lol

For those of you reading this who know me on Twitter you know my handle is MeSuperWoman and some days that is how I feel while others Im just plain SuperTired. You also know that I am serial entrepreneur speaker coach and more and have been a step-mom a foster-mom a mom to my mom a single-mom a younger mom an older mom an so on lol For those of you who didnt know that now you do. And for all those moms out there who feel like its just you Im here to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and it is perfectly NORMAL! Chances are I have experienced everything you are going through and with all our freedom opportunities and ever-changing lives as women today its hard for any of us not to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Throw in some children a job or business aging parents a spouse or otherwise and feelings of guilt are bound to take over at least some of the time.

Below I have listed just 7 of the things I go over when I am coaching a mompreneur or parent who needs some tools and guidance. I hope they help.

7 Tips to Help Moms Feel Less Guilty:

1.

Know your reason WHY! Whether you are feeling guilty about working going to the gym going back to school taking care of your parents (or not) know your reason why. This is crucial for any endeavor in life and raising children certainly is one of the greatest endeavors you will ever undertake. Being rock solid about your why will also help keep you going when things are tough. *Tip-If your why turns out to be for the wrong reasons change what you are doing.

2.
Ask yourself what would happen if you dont. Where will you be in a year 5 years…if you dont work dont take time to take care of yourself dont start that business or go back to school. Putting this in perspective often helps you realize you shouldnt feel guilty since the alternative is likely to be worse.
3.
Now ask yourself Am I leading by example for my children? Example-If you havent already figured out by this photo my why is my daughter. I work I create I run myself ragged at times all for her to have a great life. But thats not the only reason. She is learning how to dream set goals budget plan work hard and so very much more. Not because I tell her to but because I walk the walk and show her how. Children learn what they live. *Tip-If what you are living isnt in line with what you want to teach your children you need to change what you are doing and sometimes that does require being away from your children. Just remember it doesnt have to be forever.
4.
Once you are solid with the above cut yourself some slack! YOU ARE HUMAN!  You will make mistakes-fix them and move on. You will fall down-pick yourself up and keep going. And by all means show your children! Life will do the same to them someday. Dont you think it would be better for them to know how to do the handle it because they learned it from you in a safe environment first?
5.

Get creative with your time management. If your children can still nap make sure they do! Kids thrive better on some sense of structure especially in the early years and this time can be a life saver to get some work done. *Tip-Learn to be an super early-bird or a night owl which ever one gives you the best quiet time to take care of yourself your business etc. Myself Im a night owl and relish the time when all is quiet again…except of course the washer and dryer. This I get done slowly but surely while I work :) *Tip-Each night before the craziness of the next day make a list of everything you want to do the next day. Chances are it will be far too long(mine ALWAYS is). Now Highlight the ABSOLUTES to the day. Do them first the next day! You will feel such a sense of accomplishment chances are youll get a chunk of the rest done too. (Ill do a time-management post in the future with more details)
6.

Stop trying to live up to the Having or being it all expectation. After all the years I have tried to Have and be it all I have come to the conclusion that we can…just not all at once! So if you are going back to school or launching a new business chances are something will suffer. *Tip-Make a list of all the important things to you. Now highlight the non-negotiables. This would be sleep work kids and whatever else is the most important to you. Take a look at how all of those things can fit in your week your day. Chances are you will have quite a few things left that arent highlighted that you have been feeling guilty about and while they May be important they are not non-negotiable. Now add them back in where or when you can and lose the guilt. YOU ARE HUMAN!
7.
Find ways to reward yourself and your children for all the effort and patience. Let them see that working hard on school a business your career etc.means a better life for everyone. And when I say rewards I dont mean buy them a toy. Thats a dangerous expectation to develop in your children. I mean give them time activities etc. Examples: When your bonus comes that you have been working longer and harder to get get them the ice skating lessons they have been wanting see a movie or plan a picnic with them at the en of the week(indoors or out!). If  you went back to school how about a manicure for Mommy for a good grade and one for your daughter for being so supportive. Be creative. One of the things we sometimes do is pull from our We should… jar. Thats where we keep a whole bunch of pieces of paper with ideas for things we should or would like to do. Every time I finish a coaching class or like now; I  just started in B-School for the next 8 weeks which will be fabulous but challenging and add hours to my already long days and nights. My plan?… I will include Mikaela and tell her what I am doing every step of the way so she sees and learns too. When I reach the end of the class we will go to our favorite hotel for 2 nights. ( The Country Inn & Suites-We like to try new destinations each time. The rooms are big and clean the staff is always so nice there is a kitchenette which makes traveling with her food allergies easier and they are reasonable)There we will take time to dream and plan hike explore swim in the hotel pool read to each other make silly videos and just be together. *Tip-Your children will remember all the great times you spent together and not the toy you bought them or the long hours away from them if you make the moments frequently enough and make sure you are totally present with them. *Extra Savings Tip-if you book your stay through here youll receive an extra 4% Cash Bac

8.

Try thinking of it this way…Being away from your children is a healthy thing for both of you.(Not all day and all night but in small doses and only as long as you have a loving safe environment for them to be in) Now I dont mean all the time (I m a very attached hands-on parent) but I do mean enough of the time that you are able to keep some sense of you and enough that you both get a chance to miss each other. That could mean 2 hrs 1 day a week or 3 days a week or whatever works best for you. Having grandparents or a sitter for a few hours where they are likely to be giving your child their full attention vs. you trying to do ten things while you are with your child is also a bonus for guess who? Your child. Your son/daughter will be stronger for it in the end too. One of the great gifts we can give our children is the ability to be feel confident in different situations and self reliant as they grow. Learning that you always comeback is a great way to build their sense of security in all situations. What a great way to start teaching them these skills in  safe loving way.

9.

Ask for support. Not necessarily time or money but honestly explain what you are doing and the why form your heart to your love ones and ask them to be supportive with you. Sometimes our relatives and friends can be well meaning but anything but supportive. If that is the case do your best to help them understand and if need be seek encouragement from other places. No matter what it is that you are feeling and going through it so important to never feel alone. There are always others who understand. Joining a moms group even if only online is a great way to seek support idea and strength.

 Please feel free to comment! I love hearing what everyone thinks and what May work for you!

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